Monday, February 21, 2011

Delete Button

It's very atypical of me to go on impulsive fits. I normally take time to think out my decisions, to consciously weigh the pros and cons. Case in point: the former blogger Jayvee complains whenever he accompanies me to shop. He says it takes me twenty minutes to decide between a matte and beaded facial wash, and another ten minutes to chose a night moisturizer or an spf-10 one.

Baklita decisions lang talaga ano?

That's why when I suddenly chose to delete my blog, I surprised myself. It was a spur of the moment thing: I saw the delete option, and I pressed on it.


With a single click, this was what remained of my blog:

After a few hours, Kane suddenly texts me: "Why did your blog disappear?" When Maxwell dropped by my house a few days later, he also asked, "Why did you delete your blog?". I even got a brief text from Rudeboy: "So - did you shut down your blog?"

Of course I had to come up with an official statement. I glibly talked about being unconsciously pressured to write what was expected of me versus what I really wanted to. I also spoke of being too tired to write anything at all, not to mention trying to find my bearings for writing once again.

Shades of the truth, yes. But to be completely honest about it, I did it out of impulse. Plain and simple.

And it feels good.

It feels good to be reminded that once in while, I am allowed to do things out of whim without worrying about the consequences.

It feels good to be reminded that I don't have to be a control-freak with every decision that I make.

It feels good to do be reminded about the freedom of choice, whether borne out of rationality or a spur-of-the-moment whim.

But of course, I'm not exactly stupid. I actually backed up my blog a few days before deleting it. Backing up has always been an old habit of mine. Thank goodness for that. Thank goodness for the undelete option, too. Ano ako, sira para forever kong burahin yung mga pinagsususulat ko these past four years? hihihihi

And so, a few days before of the anniversary of my blog, I am back once more - a little worn around the edges, but still alive and kicking.

Here's to four years worth of writings, introspections, self-realizations, and a whole gamut in between!

Sana may delete/undelte button din sa totoong buhay, ano?


  1. Nagdadrama lang pala ang bilat. =P

  2. has it been 4 years?! wow. happy anniv! glad to see you back :)

  3. echosera ka teh ternie

    i like your new layout

  4. gusto ko to. tinanong ko din si kane kung ano nangyari sa blog mo. ang sagot niya din eh yung official statement mo.

  5. I've been so out of circulation these past few days este weeks. Ni di ko man lang nalaman na nagkaganitong gulo!Alam mo, nakakarelate ako dun sa pressure na sinasabi mo. Wala namang nangpepressure sakin. Ako lang din. But it's hard to write when you feel like people are gonna read it. Weird kasi diba yun nga purpose ng blog. Anyway, your epiphany was inspiring. :)

  6. And you're back, from outer space?

    You will survive.


  7. Been so out of loop lately, hindi ko man lang alam na nagdelete ka ng blog. Lolz

    Anyway hope you like my belated xmas gift!

  8. Drew: tseeeeeh!!! :P

    Ex-J: kaya nga nung tinanong ni rudeboy yung reason, ang sabi ko, yung official statement ba o yung totoo hehehe

    Guy: tamaaaaaaah! :D

  9. pkf: tempus fugit, isn't it? ;)

    Ewan: tseeeeeh hahahhaha yah, me likey the template, too! :D

    City: welcum back to both of us! i guess it's striking the balance between writing for one's self and responsibility towards the audience ;)

  10. Caridad: haymishu! mwah

    Mugen: hahahahhaha uu, sobra akong enjoy! :D

  11. You enjoyed Mu[g]en's gift?


    I hope it's not a sex toy.


  12. Guy: it was positively...orgasmic.

    di ba, mugen? ;)

  13. i had the same thought as guyrony on mugen's gift haha. glad to know you're back and advanced anniv to your blog.

  14. Now that's a pretty darned long time for a moisturizer :)

  15. Sean: nakow, magsamay kayo ni guyrony!

    que bastusssssh!


    Savante: i told you, i PONDER on things :P

    thanks for passing by and leaving a comment! don't be a stranger ;)

  16. Ahhhh Ternie... of coure it is easier to be impulsive when one knows there is an undelete button.

    I wonder how "impulsive" we can be without it, eh? =)