Carrie, Docu-Style: A Night-Out

"Ternie, will you be coming?"

I read the text with sleep in my eyes. Time read 8:30 p.m. I was supposed to be at his office by that hour. But here I was, still groggy and half-asleep in my bed. Besides, it was Saturday. I'm not one to really go out on my rest days. Considering it was an extremely hectic week at work, I deserved to sprawl on the bed to my heart's content. No, make that, I earned the right to sprawl on the bed to my heart's content.

Yet I dragged myself out of bed, and hit the shower.

Because I was to meet-up with Spice.

Ang Gawain ng Dalisay, Busilak, at Mayumi

Hango sa conversation sa YM

Ternie: anong gawa mo?
Spice: eto sa office
Spice: o.t.
Ternie: on a sat?
Ternie: milagro
Spice: am bored na nga e.
Spice: wala man lang maka-sex sa office.
Spice: haist
Spice: am horny

To Meet or Not to Meet?

Sa mga matagal nang nagbabasa ng blog ko, alam nyo naman na si Spice ang paborito kong ex.  Ewan ko talaga kung bakit.  Siguro kasi masiyahin syang tao.  Madali lang patawanin.  Kaya nung tumawag sya isang hapon, kinilig ang tumbong ko e sinagot ko naman ito kahit ikliping beauty ang drama ko.

The Magic of an Untroubled Heart

It was half past two in the morning when my phone rang. Since I was already curled up in bed, reading a book, the temptation to ignore it was just a little bit too much. "I wonder who it is," I mused, "It's not everyday that someone calls at this ungodly hour."

The continued ringing broke my train of thoughts.  It was insistent, so grudgingly, I rose and went to the table where my phone was.  I looked at who was calling - and I couldn't help but grin.

A Christmas Carol

"Look around about and see, 
what a world of wonder this world can be!"

Despite a rough year, this is the perfect time to remember that there are still plenty of things to be grateful for.

With this performance he sang at, Eternal Wanderer wishes all his family, friends, and readers, and his Hello Kitty, a truly meaningful season.

A Merry, Merry Christmas to you all!

Spices, Star Treks, and Sanrios

In his never-ending quest for his Prince Charming, Eternal Wanderer has had a good share of home runs, near hits, and awful misses.  However, this year, he has managed to break a personal record of sorts.  He actually found two people he really, really liked.  Of course, whether they really, really liked Eternal Wanderer back is another matter altogether.  Teehee :P

For those who have been reading the blog of Eternal Wanderer since about the start of the year, Spice is some sort of motif that crops up again and again in his writings.  They sort of got together early this year, and that made Eternal Wanderer extremely happy.  But alas, some good things come with an expiry date.  But nonetheless, he's fond of Spice.  He honestly is.  He's fond of Spice so much that he still meets up with him whenever Spice is in town.  They hang out and do lotsa fun stuff.  And Eternal Wanderer will resist the urge to elaborate what the fun stuff is because it's gonna be too TMI-ing again hahaha

How the Sun Shines

Five Minutes

The light from the sun was gently streaming through the windows while I was having a leisure brunch around ten in the morning.  My phone rang all of a sudden, so I took a peek at who was calling.

I was in for a nice surprise.

It was Spice.

He asked if I was doing anything. I teasingly replied that he only calls me if he needs something. He laughed boisterously.

(I can picture how his laugh brings out his dimples.)

I told him, "Nandito ka sa Manila ano?"

"Oo. Eternal Wanderer, kung wala kang ginagawa, gala naman tayo," he sheepishly said.

It has been a while since I last saw him. I heard he was working out. I was curious how he looked like now. I was also looking for a reason to get out of the house.

I probably could have come up with a thousand and one more excuses to justify my meeting up with Spice. Perhaps, if I just acknowledged one thing, just one thing, then I would not have gone through all the trouble rationalizing my decision.

And that one thing was that I did want to meet up with Spice.

So I said yes.

-----

It was a bright afternoon while I was waiting in the car for Spice to arrive; a far cry from the dismal weather the city has been experiencing of late.

Then I saw him. He was down the street, walking towards the car from a short distance. The sun  was basking him in the light, making his dark blue jeans and light blue shirt take on a fair hue.

"He still cuts a dapper figure. And yes, he is still manages to take my breath away," I mused to myself.

The mellowness of a memory past rippled through the surface of my thoughts.  At first, I couldn't articulate the dim reflections in my mind.  My brows gathered as I tried to grab at the meanderings. All I knew that the scene playing right before me had a tone that was amicably familiar.

At that instant, I relaxed and smiled.

I smiled because I remembered.

I remembered as only one can when sun gently shines on the heart; as only one can when the mind's skies are overcast no more.

(I couldn't help but smile.  For it was a good memory after all.)

-----

We spent most part of the afternoon in a mall doing nothing and everything.  He needed a haircut. I needed to run some errands for my father. He also badgered me for some driving lessons, and I obliged willingly.  We wound up in U.P.; and soon enough, he was able to master the intricate balance of clutch and gas in the first gear.

I had a good time.  I really did.  And before sleep overtook me in bed that night, I realized why I enjoyed every moment of it.

It is because the day is beautiful when the skies are already clear and the rains are no more.

It is because now, I can truly see how the sun shines, warm and bright in my life.

Five Minutes

With One Glimpse

I have a confession to make.

I met up with Spice a few days ago.

He texted out of the blue. He was in the city for personal reasons, and asked if I wanted to meet up with him.

I had no reason not to. I said yes.

The rains were lashing intermittently while was I was driving though the metropolis. When I got there, every slot in the concrete parking lot was full. I had to park the car in some muddy spot, and walk several meters through the mire.

But it didn't matter because Spice was already there, waiting for me.

-----

I saw him first. He was in the crowd, his back towards me, looking out to the rainy lamp-lit street. Even if I haven't seen him in months, there was no mistaking him.

It was Spice. It was definitely him.

I approached him, pinched his lower back, and whispered in his ear, "Spice."

(My heart was not fluttering anymore. Strange)

"Eternal Wanderer!!!," he almost shouted as he turned around to face me.

He was grinning widely.

(His dimples. I couldn't help but look at his dimples. I fondly remember how cute they were. They still are.)

I smiled back broadly, and at the same time, I picked up the whiff of his scent. A new one, unlike the ones imprinted in my memories of the times he slept on my bed.

(And they are pleasant memories.)

I didn't stay long because he was with his cousin. We hurriedly kept tabs about what was happening in our lives. He asked me to join him for a beer with them. I politely refused since I wasn't in the mood to socialize with other people. He promised to come back to the city soon so we can spend more time with each other. I said, "Sure, that sounds great." And with that, I told him to go back to his cousin and enjoy the rest of his night.

-----

As I made my way home, it dawned on me that all of these transpired in a span of one cigarette.

Five minutes.

All it took was five minutes to realize that everything is fine. Finally.

No more recriminations, no more awkwardness, no more hard feelings. It was a good run, and now I can savor the good times that we shared without the nostalgic heartache that used to accompany them.

Unsurprisingly, the heavy downpour stopped. It can't rain forever, after all.

I opened the window to catch the breath of the cool air as I drove on the brightly-lit night city.

How the Sun Shines

Last Song Syndrome

Of all the songs that could've been played in Kowloon, it had to be this.

Grrrrr. Lolz

Miss na kita. Kailan ka punta dito?

-----
Hala. Napi-feel ko na.

May mga very violent reactions comming.

Wahahahahahahaha

With One Glimpse

More Midnight Tales

There are some moments that you totally are prepared for. No surprises, nothing that will catch you off-guard. You are able to fully brace yourself for the event. You are able to properly handle the reactions that may possibly arise from it.

But a few days ago, I had an unexpected moment.

It was dawn time, and having just finished the book I was reading, I decided to go to the chat room. After all, it's been weeks since I last peeked at the Lobby. I wasn't really expecting anyone, prolly just an acquaintance or two. I'd prolly stay around 5 minutes, and that would be pushing it already.

Then I saw the familiar nick and the familiar font.

I did a double take. I even scanned the list of chatters.

It was him. It was definitely him. He even had his cam on.

Thoughts were dashing through my head wildly.

"Should I even say hi? What if he doesn't say hi back? Will he even say hi?! Oh gawd. Why is this happening? What the hell am I doing here?!!"

I clicked on his cam. And then I saw him.

After several months, I saw Spice.

He still looked the same. Charmingly disarming with that bedimpled smile of his.

(Stop fluttering, my heart.)

I typed on my keyboard, "Adek ka, Spice."

(I still remember the scent you left on my pillow. And it is a wonderful memory.)

I saw him grin. A huge grin. And then he shouted my nick in the Lobby.

He had me with his smile. I couldn't resist it. I just had to call him. The phone was ringing, and I saw him pick it up. And there we were, him on cam, I on the phone. We went on for a good 20 minutes or so, all of small talk. We were bantering about everything and nothing. I saw his laughter on cam. It felt nice that after all this time, I still could make him laugh. I told him I missed him, and he told me he missed me, too.

At that point, I had some realizations.

That everything is well, and everything is good.

That things have a funny way of falling into its proper place.

And that sometimes, the unexpected isn't that unpleasant, after all.

Five Minutes

Listahan

Mga kailangan kong gawin:

1. Paliguan si Musa (aso kong Rhodesian Ridgeback). Nangangamoy Musa na kama ko. Oo, Spice, kasama ko si Musa matulog sa kama. Though ang gusto ko talaga, ikaw sana katabi ko ;)




2. Bumili ng baterya ng cordless phone. Di ko tuloy magamit yung Magic Jack na binigay sa akin. San ba nakakabili nun?




3. I-text yung middle blocker namin na maglaro sya sa Sabado para kumpleto kami. Tama si Trip. Ang hirap magbuo ng team para makapaglaro ng volleyball.




4. Bumili ng oven at mga kagamitan pang-bake. Gusto ko talagang matuto magbake ng cake. Seryoso ako. At balak namin ng tropa magluto ng turkey. Yun tipong lalagyan pa ng bacon sa ilalim nung balat para self-basting ang effect. Panalo! Weird ba ang trip namin?

5. Tapusin ang mga librong binabasa ko. Nakatapos ako ng tatlo last week, at itong week inumpisahan ko naman yung Elven nation trilogy. Geek alert!!!





6. Mag-walking kasama si Pkf at Ting Ting Cojuangco sa Ateneo bago sila mag-ensayo. Maghahanap na rin ng makakalantarin doon. Wahahahahahaha




7. Magluto ng adobo na maraming bawang at gamit yung sukang iloko na binili ko nung Holy Week. Sabi nila, masarap daw ang timpla ng adobo pag gumamit ng sukang iloko :D




8. Linisan ng maigi ang kotse. Sumisigaw na sya sa akin, "HUGASAN MO NAMAN AKO, PARANG AWA MO NA!"




9. Bumili ng bagong cross-trainers. Apat na taon ko nang ginagamit yung Nike Max Air ko. Loshang na loshang na sya. Gusto ko sana yung 360, kaso sabi ni Cubao Boy, madali daw pumutok yung ilalim.

10. Maghanap ng jowa....Etchozzzz.

Orpheus Ascends From the Underworld

After 40 days and 40 nights in the land of the shades, guess who got ressurected?

Welcome back, Spice!

P.S. Happy birthday! I know you're reading this ;)

More Midnight Tales

The Rendezvous 2

I had a bad episode a few nights ago. Driving along the span of Commonwealth past midnight, a stray thought suddenly crossed my mind. I was so caught off-guard that I almost hit the brakes dead stop. It just came out of nowhere, and at that moment, all my processing and resolutions meant nothing to me. It just went down the drain like dirty dishwater that couldn't wait to get to the sewers.

You see, while I was driving, I suddenly thought of Spice.

We had a game whenever he was at my place. He has always been fastidious with his looks. I found it amusing to see him preen in front of the mirror, fixing his shirt or styling his hair. I never tired of mock-teasing him about it, and he'd respond with a mock smirk of his own. But in the middle of it all, I would usually end up hugging him from behind and bury my face in his nape. I'd then take my time inhaling the scent of his perfume.

(I can't breathe. No, I can. But the only thing I can breathe is the memory of your scent. Oh God. It hurts.)

"Smile ka naman," I'd cajole him while rubbing his goatee.

"Ayaw."

"Sige na, please?"

Even then, I could see him suppress a smile that was forming. A suppressed smile which all the more brought out his dimple.

(Be still, my heart. Please.)

It was a just a routine, but it always managed to take my breathe away. For in my heart's eye, he was most handsome at that time.

"I love you," I'd say as I kiss him tenderly on the cheek.

He'd sigh and whisper softly, "I love you, too."

(Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Why are you torturing yourself with these sketches of the past?)

My heart winced as I continued driving behind the wheel. I haven't felt that pain in years. I had forgotten how excruciating it can be. Dammit. Why do these things suddenly pop out of the blue just when your defenses are down and you're at your most vulnerable?

When shit hits the fan, it spreads around. Big time.

My tears started to well up even before I managed to chuck my half-spent cigarette. I closed the window, and the night road before me was a blur. All I had for company was a radio on full blast as I sped straight to heartache city.

With One Glimpse

Riding Out The Blues

Some days, you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed. You stand up, cranky and disoriented, wondering what you’re supposed to do when you suddenly realize that you’re late for an appointment. It’s a good thing the appointment is cancellable, so you manage to squeak yourself from this one. You sit yourself on the desktop, power it up on, and click on the internet browser.

Nothing happens. The internet is down.

Oh boy. It’s going to be a long, long day.

You try calling Spice, but he doesn’t pick up the phone. You get all the more irritated. You get so irritated that you junk the rest of your activities for the day, and just stay holed up in your room. The weather doesn’t help. Instead of being relieved from the awful heat, you get dispirited from the glum, overcast skies.
Misery loves company, and it’s just your luck that all you have is your miserable self as a companion.

The blues. Nothing to do but to ride it out.

Close Encounters of the Showbiz Kind 1

Si Eternal Wanderer ay nag-mistulang pusang gala (wandering pussy) nung Semana Santa. Sa sobrang kati nya, este, nung mga paa nya, ay nakaabot sya sa Ilocos nung Miyerkules, at bumaba ulit sya sa Maynila Biyernes ng gabi. Huminto pa nga sya ng byahe patunong hilaga para lang makapag-tanghalian kasama si Spice.

At sa mga nais makaalam, walang tantantining naganap kay Eternal Wanderer at Spice. Hello. Semana Santa kaya. Baka malatigo pa sila ng mga Moriones ng di oras.

Akala ni Eternal Wanderer nung nakabalik na sya sa Maynila ay tapos na ang kanyang pag-iiikot. Pero mali ang inakala nya.

Erpat ni Eternal Wanderer: Anong gagawin mo mamaya?
Eternal Wanderer: Wala naman. Pahinga siguro. Bakit?
EEW: Ipagmaneho mo ako. Sa Bataan.
EW: May ganun talaga? Teka, pwede bang mag-sama?
EEW: Sige. Kahit doon na kayo matulog.

Mabuti na lang isang butihing (at mas importante e kaladkaring) kaibigan si Cubao Boy. Sa loob ng 30 minutos ay nakaligo na sya't nasa bahay na ni Eternal Wanderer. Kaya hayun, wala pang 12 oras ang nakalipas e nasa NLEX na naman si Eternal Wanderer, nagmamaneho kasama ang kanyang humihilik na Erpat na nasa likod ng kotse, at ang butihin (at kaladkarin) nyang kaibigang si Cubao Boy na nasa harap namn na passenger seat. Inabot din sila ng 3 oras, pero nakaabot din sila sa kanilang destinasyon.

Sa location set ng Zorro.

Related links:
Close Encounters of the Showbiz Kind 2
Close Encounters of the Showbiz Kind 3
Close Encounters of the Showbiz Kind 4

The Rendezvous 2

The Rendezvouz 1

It was a hot and cloudless day. I alighted from the bus, momentarily blinded by the glaring sun beating mercilessly upon the landscape. It was an hour or two before he would be off for his lunch break, so I tried seeking refuge from the sweltering heat. At the corner was some inconspicuous internet shop. "Might as well check my e-mails and do some surfing," I said to myself. However, my weary-laden eyelids had other plans. I dozed off in front of the monitor almost as soon as I settled on the chair. It was a brief but deep sleep, punctuated by hazy dreams and veiled, half-remembered images. I woke up with a start, unsettled and slightly agitated because of the vagueness of what my subconscious was trying to communicate to me.

Shortly before 12 noon, I stood outside the building, puffing away on my fast-dwindling pack of cigarettes. The cell phone rang, and I picked it up. "I'm off. I'll be there in a few," he said. I put the handset down quickly, and anxiously scanned for him across the street.

Then, I saw him.

------

He was a vision in red shirt and dark blue jeans, his dark shades blindingly flashing in the brightness of the noontime sun.

I had to avert my gaze and close my eyes. It was as if that very moment encapsulated a glimpse into eternity. My soul flowed over, both with infinite ecstasy and with much profound sorrow.

When finally I opened my eyes, time was standing still. All that my heart could see was him slowly crossing the street, walking towards me, the Spice of Eternal Wanderer's life.

------

"Gutom ka na?," he said as soon as he came up to me. He was still flushed and flustered by the short walk in the heat, but he still managed to flash his bedimpled smile.

(Be still, my heart.)

"Oo. Dito na lang tayo kumain, para mabilis," I said.

(I can't breathe. No. I can. But the only thing I can breathe is the scent you are wearing. The scent that you left on the pillow when you last slept in my bed.)

The lunch proved to be uneventful. He was proudly showing off his new I-Phone, and I teased him that he probably loves it more than me. He playfully threw a paper napkin at me with the comment. I threw it back at him with a matching smile. I told him about the misadventure at the bus station. He was sympathetic about it, and said it was really like that during the holidays.

All small talk. Nothing earth-shaking, no soul-shattering revelations. He soon had to go back to the office, and I, too, had to continue on with my journey. But in that fleeting hour spent together, I realized something.

270 kilometers and 6 hours are all but numbers.

They mean nothing to the heart.

And yes, for him, I still will go the distance.

More Midnight Tales

The Rendezvous 1

It was a bitch trying to get on a bus last Holy Wednesday. I found myself at the station around 1230am, hoping that the crowd would've thinned out by then. But no. It seemed that every minute, people would be coming in like uninvited guests to a fabulous party (how there'd be a fabulous party at a bus station is anybody's guess). The disheveled serving counter handed me out a number written on some crappy scratch paper: number 552. I kindly asked what number was being served, and I got a curt reply: number 346. Then I asked what time would I probably get on a bus. I got an even more curt reply: around 2:30 a.m. All I could do was sigh, and find a spot where I could either puff away till kingdom come, or wait till someone gassed everyone (I, the bus driver, and the conductor not included) so I could have next bus that was about to leave all to myself.

2:30 a.m. came and went without whatsoever sign of a ticket being handed over to me. At around 3:30 a.m., people started to get extremely restless. Well, that's putting it mildly. More accurately, it was more like the ticketing counter had a revolt on their hands. Some granny was loudly complaining that she had been waiting since 12 midnight, and she still hadn't been served yet. The whole crowd started backing up her arguments. Poor ticketing girl fled her counter, and some burly guy took over, barking out the serving numbers one by one. Granny got issued her tickets. So did I. Unfortunately, the rest of the people soon after me ran out of luck. Spaces were already filled, and they had to wait again till more buses arrived. That part of their Calvary still continued. I had to face a new one: a 10 hour or so trip on a bus, beside a fellow stranger, on the unending expanse leading up north.

------

But all the harassment was worth it.

Because I got to see Spice.

The Rendezvous 2

Three Questions

When will the moment come when you say, "Enough is enough?"

How is it that your heart hopes against hope that things will turn out differently?

Why do you even love?


The mind is absolutely resolute, but the soul is delusive in its refusal to heed what is. It conveniently re-interprets reality by awashing itself with the fleeting moments of happiness.

The sands of time are running out fast. Thoughts and emotions implode with impetous momentum. Collision of the Id and the Super-Ego seeks an inevitable resolution in the Ego. Even as the words are written down, the anima and the animus rage a furious battle within me.

Soon, I shall I have to make stand.

Soon.

I thank You God for this most amazing day (ee cummings)

The cool, overcast weather Tuesday afternoon came as a much-welcome respite from the unrelenting heat that has been besieging the city these past few weeks. It was a particularly languid afternoon, so I decided to sit by the veranda and watch the fine drops of rain fall gently from the grey heavens. "Now this is the good life," I said to myself. No unnecessary worries cluttering the mind, and enough downtime to linger and appreciate the fleeting moment that is the now and here.

Yes, I have a good life. A roof exists over my head, and my body is nourished by food at least three times a day. I have a quiet but caring father, and a mother who, despite our physical distance, loves her only son. My friends are constantly by side, supporting me through whatever endeavors I chose to undergo. Despite the seething emotional turbulence that has been rocking my world, I know I am firmly behind the reigns of my being, the captain of my own ship. And yes, I even have Spice, who has made me realize that I still have a heart that knows how to love with all truth and honesty.

Yes, I have a good life. I am truly grateful for it.

Take a Silly Online Test, Get a Silly Answer

I picked up this what-tarot-card-are-you test in Jay Vee's blog, and I thought it would be an amusing diversion.

So what was the result?

Here it is:

You are The Lovers

Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.

The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

me: Awwwww, that's so sweet. And romantic, too. I bet this pertains to Spice (giggles)!

ME: (snorts) You're over-reading things. It's just a fuckin' silly online test. And the answer is the grossest thing possible. I wanna throw up, I swear.

me: Teehee (winks at Me).