There are some moments that you totally are prepared for. No surprises, nothing that will catch you off-guard. You are able to fully brace yourself for the event. You are able to properly handle the reactions that may possibly arise from it.
But a few days ago, I had an unexpected moment.
It was dawn time, and having just finished the book I was reading, I decided to go to the chat room. After all, it's been weeks since I last peeked at the Lobby. I wasn't really expecting anyone, prolly just an acquaintance or two. I'd prolly stay around 5 minutes, and that would be pushing it already.
Then I saw the familiar nick and the familiar font.
I did a double take. I even scanned the list of chatters.
It was him. It was definitely him. He even had his cam on.
Thoughts were dashing through my head wildly.
"Should I even say hi? What if he doesn't say hi back? Will he even say hi?! Oh gawd. Why is this happening? What the hell am I doing here?!!"
I clicked on his cam. And then I saw him.
After several months, I saw Spice.
He still looked the same. Charmingly disarming with that bedimpled smile of his.
(Stop fluttering, my heart.)
I typed on my keyboard, "Adek ka, Spice."
(I still remember the scent you left on my pillow. And it is a wonderful memory.)
I saw him grin. A huge grin. And then he shouted my nick in the Lobby.
He had me with his smile. I couldn't resist it. I just had to call him. The phone was ringing, and I saw him pick it up. And there we were, him on cam, I on the phone. We went on for a good 20 minutes or so, all of small talk. We were bantering about everything and nothing. I saw his laughter on cam. It felt nice that after all this time, I still could make him laugh. I told him I missed him, and he told me he missed me, too.
At that point, I had some realizations.
That everything is well, and everything is good.
That things have a funny way of falling into its proper place.
And that sometimes, the unexpected isn't that unpleasant, after all.