Untitled 4

Sometimes, the mantra
"Lalaki ka lang. Kayang-kaya kitang palitan." 

slides easily like butter off my tongue. 

It is a lip service that is paid and uttered

 through a mask of indifference and pride.

But at three in the morning,
in the midst of the silence and solitude,

I let go of the farce.

The mask is shattered,
the bits and pieces of reality lay by my feet.

I find that my heart is scalded,

and etched with tears

for what was,

for what could have been.

And I whisper an admission to my aloneness:

"Mahal na mahal ko pa rin siya."

-----

Para kay kaloy.