Friday, November 26, 2010

Borne Out of Tears and Darkness

 Nang Kumerembang si Eternal Wanderer sa Opisina 5

"Ternie...Ternie," I heard a voice softly calling out to me in the darkness of my room.

I was still crouched under the sheets. I slowly opened my eyes, and tried to look at who it was. As my bleary sight adjusted, I saw Pedro seated on the floor with his back against the wall. I was surprised.because he arrived earlier than I expected. He was supposed to meet his cousin to get packages meant for his relatives in the province.

"Uhmmm, anong oras ka dumating?" I replied to him groggily.

He just stared at me for several seconds.

"Tinutukan ako ng baril. Na-hold up ako."

I was jolted awake all of a sudden. I immediately stood up from the bed and sat down beside him.

"Ha?! What the fuck?! Anong nangyari?!"

"Nag...nag-bus ako ako na di aircon para makatipid. Nasa may bandang likod ako. May umupo na lalaki sa tabi at likod ko. Tinutukan ako ng baril. Pati yung babae sa harap ko, tinutukan ng baril. Nakuha yung kwintas nung babae. Kinuha nila yung bag ko. Nandoon ang cell phone ko, ang mga atm ko.  Pati atm para sa sweldo natin sa Friday, nandoon din. Tang ina, Ternie, nandoon...nandoon din yung...yung iPod Touch mo na hiniram ko sa yo."

His voice croaked. It broke and then he began to cry. Gradually at first, his chokes became heaves of pain and bitterness. He started cursing at his lot in life

"Putang ina naman...mabait ako na tao...hindi naman ako nananakit ng iba a. Bakit nangyayari ang mga bagay na to sa akin? Putang ina,  malas talaga ako, Ternie...ayoko na...putang ina, pagod na pagod na ako sa buhay ko. Sana lumaban na lang ako para binaril ako, para namatay na lang ako."

He punched at the wall in frustration.  He begged me to punch him, too. To punish him for using my iPod Touch. To punish him for not taking care of something he borrowed. To punish him for being too ambitious in using things he has never had in life.

In between his jagged sobs, he offered to leave his laptop with me in exchange for the stolen iPod.  He even reached for his remaining decrepit cellphone on the table. He wanted to give them to me to take away the guilt from losing my iPod.

I pulled him back and cradled him instead. For immeasurable moments, I kept on hushing  him and stroking his hair. I gently told him, "It's ok. iPod lang yon. Ang mga bagay na ganun, napapalitan. Pero ang buhay ng tao, hindi. Lalong-lalo na sa yo."

Slowly, I felt his heaving start to ebb. He looked up at me, got my hand, and put it to his quivering cheek. It was hot with his flowing tears.

"Ang in-expect ko, susuntukin mo ako. Mumurahin mo ako. Ayoko na sanang umuwi pa dito. Naglakad ako ng malayo habang tulala kasi di ko na kaya iharap ang mukha ko sa yo. Pero bakit ka ganyan sa akin? Ni ayaw mo akong sigawan. Ni ayaw mo ako pagbuhtan ng kamay. Sobrang bait mo talaga. Hindi ko na alam kung paano ko ibabalik ang lahat ng iyan."

I just sighed, kissed his head, and proceeded to stroke his still-wet cheek.

-----

He eventually spent himself and fell into an exhausted sleep in my arms.

And in the quiet darkness, I closed my eyes and whispered back my answer.

"Kasi ngayon ko lang na-realize na talagang mahal na kita."

 Nang Kumerembang si Eternal Wanderer sa Opisina 7

38 comments:

  1. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ternita!

    Magcocommento sana ako, pero huwag na. Im sure matanda ka na to know better.

    Baklang 'to! Feeling ko, mahuhulaan ko ang next na mangyayari kay Pedro...

    Ewan! Baka nga may trust issues lang talaga ako sa mga tao. hehe

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  2. In the dead of the night, between his sobs and your caresses, you discovered what really matters. What to you, at this point, in this place, matters the most. Him.

    I'm happy for you two, Ternie. Finally someone worth this busilak, mayumi and dalisay spirit. :)

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  3. at ang sa tinagal tagal ng pananahimik, nabuhay na ang mayumi, busilak at dalisay na pagmamahal!

    deses eeeeeeeeeeeeet teeeeeeeeeh!!!

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  4. kalokah si iurico panira ng moment.
    suportahan ta ka ternie

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  5. AIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEARRRGGGHHH!!!

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  6. Iuri: my question is, if you don't learn to trust once again, when will you ever do so? ;)

    Red: you couldn't have encapsulated how i felt that moment ay better :)

    Yj: aw. may ganun talaga? :P

    Guy: so it does ;)

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  7. Orally: concerned lang si iuri ;)

    Ruddie: :p

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  8. hahaha - alam ni Ternita ang concern ko. pero sabi ko nga - matanda na siya. Alam na niya ang mga bagay-bagay.

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  9. ummm..parang pareho kami ng naiisip ni Iurico my labs....i hope i'm wrong...:P

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  10. Iuri: thanks :)

    Soltero: ang iniisip na nagpakasasa ako sa kanya?

    AY OO NAMAN!

    oooops, overshare na naman. crap.

    lolz

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  11. Ay naku, kakabugin si Nimmy sa pagka-SANTA.

    Gagawin kitang poon at sasabitan ng sampaguita.

    Ipu-prusisyon kita next week.

    Ihanda ang long gown.

    choz!

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  12. Ahhhh basta! Hindi ko sisirain ang moment mo. :)

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  13. and then there's two less lonely people in the world...

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  14. neng... kinabog mo daw ang lahat ng sunsilk hair experts shampoo line sa iyong moment to shine na pag amin.

    ako din... me trust issues sa kepay so heto na lang ang masasabi ko mars...

    AAANNNNNNGGGGGGG...

    Ganda! Ang Ganda! Ang ganda ganda mo!

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  15. trust and trust until you succeed... :)

    PS: And if there's one thing we are never short of, it's hope that perhaps, finally, this is it...

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  16. I just sighed, kissed his head, and proceeded to stroke his still-wet cheek.

    Buti na lang cheek. Buti na lang!! Hahaha! Happy for you Ternita.

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  17. Madame Chuni: ahahahaha

    Mugen: wag na. di ba sabi mo, basta masaya ako ;)

    Désolé: nakow di din :P

    Hondagurhl: sandara park/kim chiu rolled into oe ba? hihihihi

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  18. Kaloy: apir!

    Caridad: salamat *mahigpit na yakap sabay tsansing*

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  19. ayaw kong magcomment! *taas kilay ever*

    choz!

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  20. Awwwwwwwww....

    At naiyak naman ako.

    Smile. Love. Peace.

    I'm back!

    Kampai!

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  21. Wow Ternie, nakakaloka. Parang biglang nag level up ang ratings ng teleserye mo.

    Paano ba naman; may hold-up, may iyakan, may sex. Bonggaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    But seriously, napaka cliff hanger ng episode. And, biglang may pag-ibig na pala.

    I await the next chapters.

    and I hope with you =)

    Kane

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  22. John Stan: tseeeeeeh hahahaha

    M2M: welcum back! tagal mo nawala sa blogosphere a :p *akap*

    Kane: i know right?! he told me nga to write to mmk about his life-story. seriously!

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  23. paki-tuck ang hair! bumabaha na dito sa kalsada ang hair mo! che! haha!

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  24. Doc Mike: partida naka-perm pa yan a :P

    Engel: tseeeeeeeh >:P

    BB: haymishu sobra! mwah

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  25. Etchoooos ka ternie!! May parealize realize ng pagmamahal ka pa. Love iT!!

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  26. Feeling ko huling huli na ako sa balita! Kinilig ako in a really sad way.

    Ano nangyari after? Shet, daig mo pa ang Glee! And I love Glee!

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  27. Ang bait mo namang kaibigan. He is lucky to have you as a friend.

    Ang galing mo ding sumulat, parang pocketbook lang. Hehehe. I was expecting na maging PG 13 ang ending.

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  28. Ternie... it has something to do with hmmmm trust issues...

    ask iurico :)

    i just hope na last na yung ganung incident

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  29. Ewan: or prolly i put to heart what my good fried told me long ago: b.o.d.

    benefit of the doubt.

    and yes, hopefully he's learned his lesson, and be more careful in commuting ;)

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  30. i admire you for giving his much needed b.o.d

    carry on... but be careful

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  31. yeah, i'm careful about not losing my virginity to mhim.

    aw.

    AHAHAHAHAHA

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