For Anthony

Dear Anton,

Wow, it's been a while hasn't it?  I'd offer a thousand and one excuse for not writing you at all, but hey, better late than never ehehehehe

So how's it over there?  I was just thinking how great it would if you were here.  I'd be hamming it up as the kuya and you'd whining in the bunso role.  Since brothers will always be brothers, and boys will always be boys, we'd prolly be at each other's throats, too. We'd also prolly hang out like crazy with my tropa. You'd like them because they're good guys, just like both of us are *wink*. I'd be drinking Coke Zero and you gulping down all the alcohol.  Damn, I miss that! I haven't drank since like about forever.  But don't worry, I'd definitely match you with Malboro lights, stick by stick!

I know it's been ages, but I still remember the time you decided to visit.  I was  really excited then.  After all, who kuya wouldn't be excited to see his lil' brother?  Pops was away most of the time, so it was Mom whom I kept badgering about your arrival.  Chuck my impatience and over-eagerness to the kuya mentality, but I just couldn't get enough of the idea that you'd be arriving anytime soon.

It was a flurry of activities - all the wait, the preparations, and the arrival itself.  As the date approached, I even fixed up my things in my room to make space for you.  My room was a mess, but mom didn't even have to remind me to clean the stuff out.  I knew we'd definitely be room mates. I wouldn't have it any other way, of course.

Then the big day arrived.  And due to some unforeseen turn of events, you just came and went.  I know, I know, it was over sooner than what everyone expected.  If you ask me, I would've wanted you to stay a little longer than you did.  But I know you also had other plans.  C'est la vie. I do remember though, the long night and hushed tones, and how lola was patiently explaining to me what had just happened.

Still, all is good with everything.  As you very well know, Popsy and Mom aren't together anymore.  I also know that you know they are okay with it.  Don't worry, I'm also at peace with their decision. I hope you are, too.

Popsy, Mom, and I now have our own lives to live.  Life is going as it should be.

It's odd that I haven't thought about you for a long, long time.

But last night, Anton, the almost-faded memory of you crossed my mind.

And I thought that perhaps, maybe just perhaps, that if you were still here, then our family would still be together.

Love,

Your Kuya

P.S.  I admit haven't been quite a good older brother as I should be. When Mom and I visited the graves of our two lolos and our uncle, she told me to include your name on the inscription --- so that you would be remembered, always.