Yes, Believe It or Not, I Actually Read Books

Eternal Wanderer loves to read. He loves to read newspapers. He loves to read comics. He loves to read books. He loves to read so much that he can't even poop without bringing a reading material.

Oooops. TMI.

Here's some of the books Eternal Wanderer has recently tried out:

A friend of his in college was gushing about Ayn Rand. She told Eternal Wanderer to check out Rand's novels. Being the dumb blond that he is, he innocently asked if it had anything to do with beautiful parks and fountains. She gave him what-an-airhead stare and walked out on him.

Years later, Eternal Wanderer is still a dumb blond. But now, he thanks to the book reader Stanza, he's been downloading e-books like crazy. One of the books he downloaded was Fountainhead. He picked up to courage to read it, and found himself thoroughly enjoying the novel. It practically read like good soap-opera stuff, albeit of the wordy kind. But in the last 1/3 of the book, he was got a migraine. The courtroom monologue of Howard Roark, the main character, was a little bit too much for Eternal Wanderer. It was major word puke. Eternal Wanderer wondered, "Why didn't Howard Roark simply say 'Fuck y'all. I'm an individual, so stuff it!'"

Of course, that line of reasoning would've put Howard Roark in jail for the rest of his life.

Eternal Wanderer is tickled pink at his own dumb blondness.

Eternal Wanderer is a sword slut. He goes into ecstatic throes whenever swords are concerned. He considers himself an expert handling swords of all lengths, widths, thicknesses, and sizes. He opines the bigger swords are, the better to play with. Nothing would please Eternal Wanderer more than if somebody dangles a sword before him.

With an enticing title "Dark Sword," how could Eternal Wanderer refuse to read such a book?

It was an enjoyable romp in the hay. Joram's sword very much delighted Eternal Wanderer. He even spent nights of torrid fantasy with the thoughts of caressing Joram's long and turgid sword. But it was the idea of the Technomancers (people who derived their magic through death) that gave him pause. He thought, "If I kill all roaches in the house, can it make my lashes magically curl up permanently? Do I have to do it myself, or can I just call in pest control? No, wait, if I call in pest control, it's their lashes that might be magically curled up permanently! We wouldn't want that, would we?"

Eternal Wanderer is amazed with the dumb blond ideas he can think of.

Eternal Wanderer digs magic realism. He has devoured a lot of those South American novelists which features interactive ghosts, seductive cooking, love potions, and their ilk. He thinks that the idea of magic treated as an everyday occurrence is such a fascinating idea.

Since he really adored the lush narrative of Gabriel Garcia-Marquez's Love in Time of Cholera, he decided to give 100 Years of Solitude a go. It was going on fine maybe until about the fourth generation. By that time, he almost completely lost it. The characters' names were all the same, and it was confusing the heck out of him. Eternal Wanderer even had to whip out a paper and write down who was who just so that he could keep track with all the characters.

It was then he realized that Garcia-Marquez was trying to emphasize the cyclical nature of of life. The flaws and sins of the (fore)fathers continue to haunt the children, generation after generation. Because of this, the past, present, and future are bound with one another in an inevitable spiraling towards an uncertain fate.

Whoa.

Eternal Wanderer just had a verbal and philosophical fart!

My, my, my. There may still be hope for the dumb blond Eternal Wanderer, after all.

Heehee