Sunday, March 29, 2009

A Wonderful Fairytale (Parental Guidance Advised)

Now children, it's almost time for bed. Make sure you brush your teeth really well, and when you're tucked in your beds, I shall tell you a wonderful fairytale (filled with torrid lust, bodily fluids, and steamy sex).

Once upon time, in the kingdom of Lobbylandia, a prince was minding his own god-dammned business, when suddenly, he spied from his window a most handsome knight in shining armor passing by. He already had an assortment of knights, knaves, and squires in the past, but Prince was particularly enamored with Most Handsome Knight (prolly because Prince looked at Most Handsome Knight using his one-eyed monster). So, Prince said "Pssst!" to Most Handsome Knight (Prince is Filipino, after all), and Most Handsome Knight momentarily stopped and responded with a smile and a wink (and with matching licking of his upper lip). From that very moment, Prince knew that he wanted Most Handsome Knight. Prince did everything in his power to get Most Handsome Knight's attention. He even journeyed alone for several hours through several kingdoms (and several smelly comfort rooms) just to see Most Handsome Knight. And guess what, children? Most Handsome Knight went back with Prince to his palace , where they spent several wonderful days together (what they did is none of your business, children).

Alas, not everything was nice and spice in the kingdom of Lobbylandia. There were really mean, and really wicked witches who got in between Prince and Most Handsome Knight. And because of these evil witches, Most Handsome Knight got mad at Prince and did not speak for him for a long, long time. Prince thought he lost his Most Handsome Knight forever, but because hope springs eternal, Prince was rewarded for his patience (and emo-ness). Lo and behold, Handsome Knight eventually lifted his cloak of (YM) invisibility and revealed himself to Prince! Prince was overjoyed (and almost creamed in his britches) when Most Handsome Knight said "I shall go to your Palace once again, my Prince."

Now, Most Handsome Knight is sleeping once again in the Prince's boudoir (yes, children, Prince has a boudoir. Don't ask why because it's impolite to do so.) Prince cannot sleep (because of a good dose of cappuccino and sex-induced endorphins), so he decides to tell this tale to the children. And since this is the end of the tale (but remember, abangan ang susunod na kabanata), make sure you all get a good night's rest, and please, Prince does not recommend touching yourself inappropriately. You might get the curse of the hairy palms.

P.S. Children, you might be wondering where all the torrid lust, bodily fluids, and steamy sex are in the story. Prince says, "Excuse me, kung gusto nyo ng ganun, bumili kayo ng Abante at Tik-Tik!"


  1. Ohhh.. More fairy tales granny!!! This time, I want to hear stories about one-eyed monsters, big swords and horseback riding in the woods.

  2. Mugen: Pray tell, do you want to hear tales of Prince teaching Most Handsome Knight the fine art of sword-fighting? Or do you want to know the tale of how the Prince was piecered by the turgid lance of the Most Handsome Knight?

    Shet. Potah. Info overload. Overshare na yata yun.


  3. i sit captivated, enchanted... wanting moar... MOAR!!! i tell ye... MOAR!!!!! :)

  4. ;) i agree w/ mugen. more gay fairy tales granny, please... ;)

    masaya ako para sayo... :)

  5. yes, i will not touch and play with my .. hahahah

    me not like hair. lol

  6. Jaime: Don't be such a greed lolz

    Jay Vee: Salamas, pero di ko pa rin alam kung saan papunta to. Hayz

    Herbs: Then again, hair on the palm might provide an interesting texture and feel when you play with yourself teehee

  7. I long for the day when I can tell-off children like you, grammy.

  8. Powerpuff: Ikaw pa. E kung mga waiter nate-tell off mo (na sumama sa yo), e kayang kaya mo yan.

    Wag nga lang children under 18 a. Baka mabantay bata 163 ka.