For Rudeboy

May this compass guide your way out of your labyrinth of darkness.

That's all I wish for - that you find your true north of peace once more.

Belated happy birthday, Ruddie.

For what it's worth, here's to more happy returns.

Delete Button

It's very atypical of me to go on impulsive fits. I normally take time to think out my decisions, to consciously weigh the pros and cons. Case in point: the former blogger Jayvee complains whenever he accompanies me to shop. He says it takes me twenty minutes to decide between a matte and beaded facial wash, and another ten minutes to chose a night moisturizer or an spf-10 one.

Baklita decisions lang talaga ano?

About Blogging and Reading Blogs

Edited transcript from a YM conversation with Kane:

(Kane): Ternie, tell me the truth
(Kane): whats ur opinion of pinoy gay blogging
eternal_wanderer01: what about it?
(Kane): im curious
(Kane): do you think we have excellent writers?
(Kane): etc etc
eternal_wanderer01: each have their own styles
eternal_wanderer01: some write floridly
eternal_wanderer01: some write concisely
eternal_wanderer01: some write about big ideas
eternal_wanderer01: some write about mundane things
eternal_wanderer01: the whole i point?
eternal_wanderer01: i read to learn
eternal_wanderer01: both with what they have to say
eternal_wanderer01: and how they say it

*End of transcript*

Why do you read blogs? For that matter, why do you write in a blog?

In Search of Happiness

 "When you sense a faint potentiality for happiness after such dark times, you must grab on to the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face first out of the dirt - it is not selfishness, but obligation."

Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Ever After

I wish I could say it ended up like a fairytale: the prince and I meet, we fall in love, and then we live happily ever after. And for a brief time, I actually thought we would.  He was charming as a prince, after all.  Tall, dashing, smart, well-established, seemingly sensitive as a poet, and having an inner core of strength that comes with tribulations in life - a perfect package that one only reads in children's bedtime stories. But what attracted me most was the way he'd cry at things that would tug at his heart: a nostalgic kundiman, or even a touching blog post or two.

Around the World in 80 Days, Proverbially Speaking 3 (A Re-post)

a thug at the Jewish Memorial in Berlin, Germany

Around the World in 80 Days, Proverbially Speaking 2 (A Re-post)

Old Town in Brussels, Belgium

I just love romping through these parts of any city! We spent the whole morning exploring the nooks and crannies in the old town section in Brussels. I munched on authentic Belgian waffles (almost bready in taste and texture), and loaded up on Belgian chocolates for pasalubong. Bad decision. It took all my creativity to figure out how to store the chocolates in my luggage without them being squashed.

By the way, I couldn't help but look for Patrash! lolz

A Proclamation

To the unnamed one who is broken, I am not here to piece you back together. I am not a mender, nor did I ever fancy myself to be one. It is you, and only who can do that; no one else. But these are the things I promise I can do for you:

That I will be there for you,

To cradle you in my arms when you need comfort,

And to lift your spirits,

That you may soar in the expansive skies once more,

As you rightfully should.

Ginahugma kita, Ga.

Around the World in 80 Days, Proverbially Speaking 1 (A Re-post)

The best part of what I used to do was that I got to travel around Asia, Europe, and North America singing my ass off. At that time, I'd take it for granted to pack my luggage for months at end. Sure, it was exhausting and grueling to be constantly on the road. But looking back, I was definitely lucky enough to have been be able to go around and see really, really cool stuff.

Isang Tunay na Masayang Pasko

At sa tuwing pagsikat at paglubog ng araw
Nagsisimula't nagwawakas sa salitang "ikaw"
Kaya huwag mo nang itanong kung ano pa sa akin ay kulang
Dahil bawat araw kasama ka ay Paskong walang hanggan.

- Paskong Walang Hanggan  (Ryan Cayabyab/Jose Javier Reyes)

 And a Merry Christmas to one and all! :)

Random Thoughts at 5 A.M.

1. I just finished special project # 2 for the office yesterday.  At my level, only two of us are being pulled out to handle projects for the entire account and not just our line of business.  So far, everything I've been involved with has been very successful. Mabangong-mabango ako sa ExeCom of the account. They know me even if we haven't been formally introduced. Hmmm, can I smell the promotion just around the corner? Teehee

Paglulunok #3

This time, hindi na ako na-surprise. At ang masasabi ko lang ay:

How sweet is it to swallow your love!

-----
Ika nga ni Pedro, "Lunukin mo. Vitamins yan. Very nutritious!"

And because I'm an obedient person, e may I swallow naman ang ginawa ko.

Aw.

TMI na naman.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Masks (A Re-post)

I am Eternal Wanderer, but yet I am just a mask.

It is not me, but it is still me.

It is not the whole of me, but a part of who I am.

We all put on masks. Different masks to different people. To our parents. To our siblings. To our friends. To our lovers.

Sometimes, we even layer it. One at a time. A careful and calculated construction.

At the end of the day, we take it off.

I take it off.

Only to discover that I am the mask underneath.

Have I become the mask, or has the mask become me?

-----

A postscript to Kane's entry.

P.S. Sorry di ako maka-reply kaagad sa last post. Sobrang toxic ang projects na binigay sa akin sa opisina. Nakasalalay ang promotion ko sa mga 'to! :P Pahinga muna mode muna ako mula sa pagkukwento tungkol sa teleserye namin ni Pedro Penduko. Abangan na lang ang susunod na kabanata hehehe

Untitiled 4

Bakit ganun?

Sinisigawan na ako ng utak ko, pero iba pa rin ang binubulong ng puso ko.

At ang binubulong ng puso ko

Borne Out of Tears and Darkness

 Nang Kumerembang si Eternal Wanderer sa Opisina 5

"Ternie...Ternie," I heard a voice softly calling out to me in the darkness of my room.

I was still crouched under the sheets. I slowly opened my eyes, and tried to look at who it was. As my bleary sight adjusted, I saw Pedro seated on the floor with his back against the wall. I was surprised.because he arrived earlier than I expected. He was supposed to meet his cousin to get packages meant for his relatives in the province.

"Uhmmm, anong oras ka dumating?" I replied to him groggily.

He just stared at me for several seconds.

Nang Kumerembang si Eternal Wanderer sa Opisina 6: Ang Pagpapalit Anyo ni Julie Vega

 Nang Kumerembang si Eternal Wanderer sa Opisina 5

Ang mga sumunod na linggo ay parang isang blurry dream kay Eternal Wanderer. Panaginip kasi alam nya na kailangan din yang magising sa katotohanan na biláng ang mga araw ng pagsasama nila ni Pedro. Alam din nya na basically straight ang orientation ni Pedro. Maghahanap at maghahanap din ito ng pechay. In fact may, girlfriend nga ito sa probinsya.  Not to mention may pinopormahan pa syang babaeng officemate.

Nang Kumerembang si Eternal Wanderer sa Opisina 5: Ngisi = Tumbling sa Bangin

 Nang Kumerembang si Eternal Wanderer sa Opisina 4

May ilang araw na rin ang nakaraan simula nung nagsasama sila sa iisang bubong.  It turned out, ang mang-aalaa ay naging alagain. Nadiscover kasi ni Eternal Wanderer na maasikaso si Pedro Penduko. Tuwing kumakain sila, e inalagyan nya muna ng kaninin at ulam ang plato ni Eternal Wanderer. Kapag gumagala naman sila, kusang binibitbit ni Pedro an mga dala-dala ung isa.  At kahit na 2.5 hrs na nauuna matapos sa trabaho si Pedro at marunong naman ito mag-commute pauwi, e inaantay nya si Eternal Wanderer para sabay silang umuwi sa bahay.

Nang Kumerembang si Eternal Wanderer sa Opisina 4: Si Pedro Penduko at si Imelda Marcos

Nang Kumerembang si Eternal Wanderer sa Opisina 3

"''Pre, magre-resign na ako sa trabaho.  Uuwi na ako sa probinsya. Hindi ko na kaya dito sa Maynila. At saka, miss ko na rin anak ko," sabi ni Pedro Penduko kay Eternal Wanderer habang nagyoyosi sila sa labas ng building.

May ilang buwan na rin ang nakalipas simula nung nakilala ni Eternal Wanderer si Pedro Penduko. Ang pinagsimulan ng paghingi ng yosi ay umusbong sa pagiging magkaibigan. Madalas sila magsama pag-break time, nagkwekwentutan nagkwekwentuhan habang naninigarilyo. Minsan, sabay sila mag-lunch. Pero sa totoo lang, deliberately ginagawa ni Eternal Wanderer na mag-coincide ang lunches nila. Kiver sa schedule adherance. Kaya hayun, dumating ang panahon na nagkataon sila lang dalawa ang kumain sa pantry.  Kilig naman si Eternal Wanderer. Date kung date ang pakiramdam nya.

Nang Kumerembang si Eternal Wanderer sa Opisina 3

Nang Kumerembang si Eternal Wanderer sa Opisina 2

Na-obssess ng husto ang mga mata ni Anghelita kay Lalaki sa CR. Di nya ito tinantanan. Kapag nakikita nya ito sa pantry, hallway o yosihan, e may I bring out ang abaniko with matching coy na pasulyap-sulyap  and kolehiyala giggle ang drama ni Eternal Wanderer. Yiz, mga ineng, very Maria Clara ang arrive, dabah?

The Reason Why I Breathe Opera

Dame Joan Sutherland
1926-2010

Dramatic Coloratura assoluta
 La Stupenda è morta, viva La Stupenda!

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My belated tribute to the great soprano who died a few weeks ago. This was the very first aria of hers that I listened to, and it lead it eventually lead me to singing opera years later.  

Thank you, Dame Joan, for the wonderful introduction to opera.  You will be sorely missed.